Saga Brumsfellow and the Prison Cell
by Suchan and Twelve
Summary: Ch8 Saga is one of those people who life likes to kick when he's down. He ends up at St. Brutus' Center with a Boy Who Lived, a Muggle, and a girl. They escape and run off to find Harry's lost love, but things don't always go as planned. Slight HPPansy P.
1. Trouble Magnet

Saga Brumsfellow and the Prison Cell 

A Harry Potter Fanfiction that actually stars the scarred hero himself.

_By Suchan and Silver_

Warnings: A change in Harry's scar shape, and people befriending Voldemort. And a guy who just can't stay out of trouble. Poor guy.

Rating: PG-13

:P

Prologue. "Trouble Magnet"

:P

Hey. My name's Saga. Yes. Seriously. Please stop laughing. Anyway, I'm a wizard. Yes. A wizard.

I know a Muggle like you would find it hard to believe that there's real magic in the world, but there is. I should know. It gets me out of scrapes sometimes, but mostly into them. You see, I've been mostly left on my own since my mom died.

She had sent me to St. Gargoylia's School of Magic for seven years, starting when I was eight. But when Mom suddenly died of a bronchitis complication, I had no means of finishing school. I left to see the world.

I'm seventeen. Actually, any moment now, I'm supposed to be eighteen… eleven fifty-nine forty-three, eleven fifty-nine forty-four… Today is March fourth. For a few more seconds…oh, no, wait. It's the fifth. Happy Birthday to me, I guess.

Not much to celebrate. I barely have a place of my own. The repo's came by last night and took my junker of a car. No bother. Gas was too expensive anyway. I think there's a bike somewhere in the parking garage I can use.

So where was I? Oh, yes, I'm a eighteen year old wizard, and I'm a trouble magnet.

My name is Saga Brumsfellow. As of recently, I was attending St. Brutus' Secure Centre for Incurably Criminal Boys, with a Muggle, a Boy Who Lived, and a girl. This is our story, which begins for me at least, on a fairly pleasant Saturday night……

:P

End Prologue.


	2. Dazed, Confused, and SOL

Saga Cipe and the Prison Cell 

_A Harry Potter Fanfiction_

_By Suchan deFamine_

:P

Chapter 1. "Dazed, Confused, and S.O.L."

:P

_THUMP. THUMP. THUMP._

'I really wish they'd turn down their music.' thought Saga, trying to read in the dim light of an about-to-pop light-bulb. 'I'm beginning to get a headache.'

After half an hour, the bulb popped completely, and Saga gave up. He strode to the door, tripping over a table, and crept tentatively down the stairs to the second floor. He knocked on the door where the music banged its way out and drilled into the fragile sanity of the neighbours.

A large, muscled guy opened the door and stared imperviously down at him. Saga felt like shrinking into himself. "Excuse me, but could you please turn your music down?"

He blinked. "WHAT?" he cackled. "C'mon in, kid. Join the party." He pushed Saga inside the door and locked it behind them.

The air was full of different-smelling smokes. Saga coughed, and jumped when a bony hand reached out of the mass of darkness inhabiting the couch. "Hey, kid…hand me that bottle there, will ya?" Saga picked up a half-full bottle of something he'd rather not think about and handed it to the outstretched hand. "Thanks…"

The music thumped on, and Saga continued to inhale the drug-imbued air because there was no choice. Other than suffocation. He began to feel more and more uncomfortable. He'd just been locked into a drug-alcohol-sex-illegalities party. There was a word for it, but with all the smoke he was beginning to feel dizzy…oh, crap… of course he had to be absent when they were passing out good fortune.

People were giving him weird glances, snorting suspicious substances, and lots of brown bottles and silvery cans littered most of the horizontal surfaces, which included the floor. Saga watched his tread carefully so he wouldn't land in the lap of some dazed pedophile while tripping over a discarded and disregarded beer can.

The music stopped and a sudden hush settled over the crowd except for the stifled moans coming from the couch.

"Everybody bail—someone called the fuzz!"

There was a clouded pause before the rush in which Saga crept away to the door, which was still locked. Then there was the frantic swell towards the door as everyone charged the door to get out before anyone could arrest them.

A dark haired boy with unfocused eyes smirked at him. "You heard Pablo, man… we gotta bail…" Saga sighed heavily as the boy leaned on his shoulder. He looked around wildly as everyone vanished out the door.

"Eh…?"

"Hey, help me out, can't see real well, kinda foggy in here…I don't know why he insists on dry ice, that stuff smells awful…" The boy was rambling as Saga looked around. There was no fog. Obviously, he was stuck full of drugs and couldn't see straight. Or smell straight.

"I should leave you here."

"No! Please, don't! Just…"

"Oh for God's SAKE!" Saga screamed as the boy fell asleep on his shoulder. Grudgingly, knowing that somehow, for not the first time in his life, that this was not going to turn out well at all, he trudged out the door with the boy on his shoulder.

And it was a sad event.

:P

As it turned out, Saga was caught doing a good deed in a bad place, and the boy had stopped breathing. The police cuffed them both, and dragged them out to the station, where Saga's growling belly addressed the open box of Krispy Kremes on the desk and was aggressively denied.

"Name?"

"Saga Wendellin Brumsfellow."

"How old are you, son?" The lady's chilly glance gave him the creeps.

"Sixteen." Saga shivered involuntarily.

"Alright. In the morning, we're shipping you off to St. Brutus' Academy for Incurably Criminal Boys since you have no living relatives on file. But for tonight," the police woman said, showing Saga down a hallway, with a hint of sarcasm Saga almost missed, "you get to stay here with us. Won't that be fun? Kinda like a slumber party."

'Without all the fun, yes,' thought Saga, grudgingly. They hadn't believed his story of being locked inside after asking to turn the music down, even though he looked and tested completely sober.

He sat on a scantily padded bed hanging out from the wall.

"Sleep tight, hon."

The bars slammed shut and Saga felt very alone.

:P

End Chapter 1.


	3. Welcome to St Brutus'

Saga Brumsfellow and the Prison cell

A Harry Potter Fanfiction by Silver and Suchan

Notes: Hp, not mine. Regrettably. They're terrific characters.

:P

Chapter 2. "Welcome to St. Brutus' Academy for Incurably Criminal Boys"

:P

Ack. Just realised I didn't do a disclaimer. I don't own any of Ms. Rowling's creatures, but Mindy and the guards of December Pond and the butler are all mine. And kind of awesome, but whatever.

:P

"Mr. Brumsfellow. Wake up." Saga blinked in the soft daylight flooding the cell.

"Yeah…yeah, I'm up…" He sat up, yawning, as they unlocked the door and led him out, still in cuffs. There was a red ring of raw flesh around his wrists.

Nobody spared him a passing glance, except for a fellow inmate with yellow eyes, who barked at him. "I knew it," he hissed, "we're all doomed. Doomed, I say! DOOMED!"

"Hawkins, honestly."

He got a manic gleam to his eye as he got up furiously and began to shake the bars of the cell, screaming, "I AM BEING BLOODY HONEST! WE'RE ALL GOING TO FUCKING DIE!!" The man Hawkins continued to rave until they were out of earshot. Saga noticed a man with a hypodermic needle rushing back the way they had come. He glanced helplessly behind him at the city he once called home.

He only hoped that this Academy would be the start of a new and different life.

How very wrong, and very right, he would soon find that thought to be.

:P

"Here is your room, sir. We will have for you some fitted apparel suitable for school wear in the morning." As Saga sat apprehensively on the verge of a particularly well-made bed, the man stepped outside to speak with the police officers who had brought him here.

Glancing around, Saga noticed that all the beds were particularly well-made. Almost too well-made. Like the boys who lived here were either robots…or didn't live here at all.

There was the click-clack of the officers walking away. A door shut and the man reappeared in the doorway with a scowl. "You. Come." Saga hurried after his long strides, not wanting to upset him.

Beneath that nicely tailored suit, with Saga's luck, probably bulged some toned muscles he didn't want to find himself cornered with. The man already seemed to be in a foul temper.

Saga was still feeling that uneasy feeling he had had when his gaze had lingered over the tidy rows of tidy beds in that tidy room with the tidy floor and tidy shelves, all the tidy lamps with their shades completely horizontal.

"You will stay here. Your garments, a toothbrush, and a towel. Sleep well," he added with a nasty sneer.

The door was locked shut.

The sense of déjà vu nearly knocked Saga off his feet.

The lights went out, and he felt very alone.

:P

"Morning, sunshine!" someone chirped into his face. "Better get dressed or you won't get any breakfast!"

Whoever it was left and Saga rolled onto his stomach, burying his face into his arms. "Muh?" The light was so bright; Saga dared not to open his eyes.

"I wonder if she's alright?…"

"Oh, lid it, Harry. She's probably pining away for you. We'll find her when we break out of here." That wasn't a boy's voice…

"That's the seventeenth time you've mentioned her this morning, Harry." A different voice, this time.

"..you're counting?!"

"What else is there to do in the mornings?"

"Too true."

"Hey, new kid's wakin'."

Blearily, Saga opened his eyes. A pair of luminous green ones were blinking at him.

"AAAAAAIGH!" he screamed.

"Come now, it's rude to scream at people. And besides, you'll wake up the guard." A peach-coloured hand pulled the black-haired boy away from him and the owner of it smiled calmly at him. "What's your name?" This was the boy with the girly voice.

Saga blinked hard and lifted himself up onto his elbows, and stared at him. "Saga Wendellin Brumsfellow. Of New Canonsorrow."

The other dark-haired boy stared at him questioningly. "Where's that?"

"About ten miles from Old South Floopsford, coupla hours away from Gurglesburg, going East. But then there's an obscure right turn you have to take or else you won't get to it."

The other boys gave him weird looks. They weren't even going to bother asking where Gurglesburg was. The one with green eyes scratched his head. His hair stood up, showing off an impressive scar shaped like a puzzle piece.

"Who're you?" Saga asked, voice still muddled with half-sleep.

"I'm Harry," said the boy with green eyes happily.

"Then go shave," said the boy that sounded like a girl. He had an annoying, high-pitched giggle not unlike Voldemort's. Harry frowned at him.

"My name's Piers. I was friends with Harry's cousin," stated the boy with dark, mouse-coloured, droopy hair and chocolate coloured eyes. He had a solemn look about him.

"I'm Drake. Some people have the wit to call me Mindy." The boy, Drake/Mindy, smiled at him. "But it's okay. At least they'll get a little bit of cash from the Tooth Fairy, right?"

It was a threat, but Saga chuckled. "Alright. When's food?"

:P

..soooo. it'll get more entertaining towards the end.


	4. Sporks and Sprints

Saga Brumsfellow and the Prison Cell 

_A Harry Potter Fanfiction_

_By Suchan and Silver  
_

_:P _

Chapter 3. "Sporks and Sprints"

:P

Saga poked at his food with a plastic spork from Wendy's. "What is this again?"

"They call it eggs and bacon."

What Mindy was pointing at looked like two strips of horse leather and curdled, burnt plastic. It must have been skim milk in the glass, or maybe they ran out of regular and put water in flour.

Saga scarfed it, though: he was that hungry.

"I'm not even sure I want to ask what's for lunch."

:P

Saga flipped over on his bunk. The padding was scratched out in some strategic lines spelling out an obscene four-letter word and then "this". He traced around the F and flopped back down onto his back.

"Dude… you're shaking my bunk."

"Sorry, Piers."

"We've gotta find a way out of here," hissed Mindy.

"Yeah…"

And Saga thought, and he thought, and he thought, and he thought some more, and for a change, thought. He almost had it. Almost.

And sleep came upon him like a midnight runner, turning the thoughts into screaming nightmares and terrors of a depth which could only be produced by his subconscious mind.

:P

"BWAAAAAAAGH!!!" _Foomp._

That was the sound of Saga shrieking and falling off his bunk at the sound of the morning alarm.

"Ever' body up!" The bars were rattled and Saga moaned from his tangled position on the floor.

"Auuuunnnngh…"

"Get up, kid, you ain't hurt." The guard snorted at him and went to the next cell to ensure the awakening of the other inmates.

Mindy looked at him inscrutably from behind a frame of dark brown bangs in dire need of a trim. He blinked, and muttered, "Yeah, that was your alarm clock. You'll get used to it, though."

Saga looked up at him from his haphazard tangle of limbs on the floor. "I don't think we'll have to be listening to that much longer," he said ominously.

Piers, Harry, and Mindy stared at him. "You mean you found a way to disable them?" said Harry.

"No…" Mindy's face was aglow in a wide grin before Saga voiced his idea. "I mean, I've got a way to get out of here."

:P

It was breakfast again. Each of them stole an extra spork and convinced a few other inmates to do the same. At the end of breakfast, seven sporks were in their possession. At the end of lunch, they had twenty. When dinner came around, they had thirty-five, and other cells had a numerous amount saved up for the same proposed feat.

Some boys at the meals intentionally broke their sporks to ask for new ones to lessen suspicion. Everyone was silently rooting for cell F-2-U and their ingenious plan.

The lights went out, and Saga gave a shrill whistle. Eight feet shuffled to the back wall and soon a clinking sound was heard, followed by water gushing and a _chugga-chug-chug-chugchug-WHOOOOOOOOSH_ as the poor toilet nearly exploded in suffocation with all the sporks stuffed down it.

A different alarm went off and a maintenance crew arrived punctually, flipping on a light in cell F-2-U. "What's the emergency? Oh, God, not another toilet. All o' ya's, get out here. We'll take care of it."

As soon as Saga, Harry, Piers and Mindy were standing out in the hallway, a face pressed itself against the bars of cell F-6-U across the hall. "Fly, you fools!" hissed a boy named Marvin, who isn't really essential to the plot, but was there anyway.

Piers blinked at him and said, "You're not Gandalf."

"Aw, fer cryin' out LOUD… what the feck? So that's where all them forks went to, had ta eat my lunch with my fingers today…"

"Cletus, you always eat yer lunch with yer fing-ahs."

Mindy grabbed keys out of someone's back pocket and made a run for it. As the young, pimply janitorial assistant chased after them, the boys in the cells stuck out their arms to hinder his pursuit. They screamed and hollered, laughed and taunted.

One boy's comment struck particularly hard; the assistant turned to face the cell and shouted quite loudly, "MY MAM DON'T WEAR ARMY BOOTS! THEM'RE GALOSHES!"

And Mindy keyed the door, and everything was a-go… except for the fence.

Harry pushed his fist through the first blinking light he saw. Piers tested the fence. "It's off," he announced. Mindy ripped through the fence with a monstrous strength and beckoned for the other boys to get through.

By now, the alarms were screaming commands to get those damn kids, guards were rushing about, and spotlights were swinging over the ground like a night watchman's torch.

"You!"

It wasn't a friendly voice. It came with a spotlight. It came with cross-hairs.

With a terrified determination hammering their chests, the two mile sprint to the woods seemed like nothing.

:P

_Whump_. Mindy coughed as his back hit the tree. "Oh, Lord have mercy…"

Saga was lying spread-eagled on the ground, panting hard, and Harry was somewhere in nearby bushes being violently sick. Piers watched them all silently with tearing eyes, his breath coming in ragged gasps.

Saga looked at his digital watch, a square of green light in the darkness, and sighed. "It's two AM. Think they've given up yet?"

With all the heavy breathing going on, the sounds of alarms, dogs, and muscled guards had faded away into the night…

"I hope so," came a breathy voice; Mindy's. "Let's rest here, but then we have to move on soon. I'm hoping we'll get to London by daybreak. Then we can get to the Leaky Cauldron and—"

"Waitaminnit." This was Harry, back from his dry heaves. "Leaky Cauldron? How d'you know about that?"

"I'm a witch. What about all of you?"

"I am," said Saga. "Wizard, I mean."

"You mean magic's real?" Three heads turned in Piers' direction in horror.

:P

End Chapter Three.

Yup, yup, this is where it gets interesting. I was never much one for background work, but it's necessary. So eh. Reviews?


	5. Flight of the Wrongly Accused

Saga Brumsfellow and the Prison Cell 

_A Harry Potter Fanfiction_

_By Suchan and Silver  
_

:P

Chapter 4. "Flight of the Wrongly Accused"

:P

"What do you mean, is magic real?"

"Then it is?"

"Harry!"

"What?!"

"Why didn't you tell us?!"

"Tell you _what?!"_

"Tell us that Piers is a –a—a _Muggle_!"

"Oh. Yeah. I forgot."

Mindy growled.

"Please don't be angry."

"Mindy! Control yourself!"

"I promise I won't tell anyone."

There was silence in the forest.

:P

It was a quiet morning, save for the grumbling of hungry bellies, and the breaking of leaves underfoot as they trudged on for London, hurriedly, before the guards went looking for them.

"I'm hungry."

"Shut up, Harry," said three voices.

"We're all hungry too," said Saga quietly.

And suddenly, here was a road. The four stopped at the paved edge, watching.

"I have something to tell you guys," said Mindy nervously.

"You've got food?"

"Shut up, Harry," said Saga and Piers.

"What is it?"

He fidgeted. "I'm a girl."

"Oh," laughed Saga, relaxing. "I was worried you were going to say you had a tracer on you. And it was pretty obvious from your voice. I figured you were either female or gay."

He—SHE—smiled shakily, looking around at the others. "Oh. Shall we go?"

"Yeah," Saga said, pointing at the rising sun. "That's east, so we'll go that way. London should be east of St. Brutus'."

"But which way were we going last night?"

Saga stopped, deciding finger twirling indecisively in the air. "Oh. Well, how about next town we get to, we stop and ask directions?"

"And get some new clothes," Harry mumbled, noting the bright orange jump-suits they had been given to wear at the prison.

"Yeah, that too."

"I miss her so much."

The others looked at him. Piers rolled his eyes.

"Shut up, Harry."

:P

Saga ran a hand over his head, now prickly with new growth. He had shaved his head prior to the arrest for less hassle, and now he had a fine military buzz. He frowned.

Harry's hair was lying and sticking up in shaggy clumps, while Piers' rat's nest hung limply in matted tangles.

Mindy's hair was growing past her ears and curling up cutely. She fiddled with it each morning, and now sat disgustedly back on a rock by the pond, which she had been using as a mirror. "Damn it," she muttered, trying to run her fingers through her hair and getting them stuck.

She jumped and ran to the others at the side of the road when she heard Saga's shout.

"CAR!"

They all waved to flag down the oncoming car, a powder blue Oldsmobile with rusted hubcaps. The driver was a young guy, scared looking, with curly brown hair.

"Can I help you chaps? Ma'am?" he added, seeing Mindy puffing along side them from her run from the pond.

"Yeah," said Harry, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "We need to know how to get to London."

"Oh," said the man, pointing the way he was facing, "I was going to London. Not escaped criminals, are we?"

"No. We're the wrongly accused."

"Oh. Well, could you all squish in back, then? There's a blanket you can use to hide if you want a ride. I can't risk getting pulled over again."

They looked at each other, and Piers clapped his hand over Harry's mouth before he could ask what the man had been pulled over for before.

"Thanks. We accept." They squeezed in back, on the floor, and covered themselves with the flowery blanket.

After a minute—"Did somebody fart?"

It was going to be a long ride.

:P

End Chapter 4.


	6. London

Saga Brumsfellow and the Prison Cell 

_A Harry Potter Fanfiction_

_By Suchan and Silver  
_

:P

Chapter 5. "London"

:P

The guy who had driven them to London took them to a discreet back alley which led into a basement with a bathroom. They changed there with some random costumes he had hidden in his trunk.

"I wonder…" said Mindy, admiring a large feathered hat, "What exactly was he doing with these?" She tossed it aside and left her outfit at a shimmery purple dress. Harry had found a set of wizard-like robes and Piers had a pair of lime green pants and a dark green shirt with rotating bow tie.

However, Saga seemed to be having troubles. "Guys?"

The only two things left in the case of costumes were a golden dress with a low back and slit up the side, made of silky fabric, or a rather large overcoat that smelled of Limburger cheese and mothballs.

Harry began to giggle hysterically. "Go for the dress, Saga."

Mindy frowned at him. "Overcoat, if you can stop yourself from puking. You really don't look good in a dress, and no one needs to see that."

"We're gonna look like freaks anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter," said Saga, taking one whiff of the overcoat and then shrugging into the dress. He didn't like the way the dress swooped down low in the back, exposing his less-than-sexy bony spine. Mindy whistled and Piers laughed. "Let's get to Diagon Alley ASAP, shall we?"

:P

The goblin gave them funny looks trotting into Gringotts that morning, but shrugged it off. After all, it was a wizards' bank. They got freaks every day. "Have you got your key?" he said crankily.

"Yes," panted the funny bald kid in the gold dress. "Vaults 331, 879, and 582."

The girl blinked calmly at him, and the shaggy haired dark-looking kid stared in awe at the beautiful architecture and gilded statues. "Clawroot!"

Another goblin waddled out from behind a counter and took their keys, led them to a cart. Piers looked scared out of his rotating bow-tie. Clawroot looked bewildered. Mindy noticed this and said quickly, "My brother here, poor thing, he's had his memory wiped and doesn't remember a thing about the wizarding world. Thinks he's a Muggle."

Instead of sympathy, the goblin called Clawroot rolled his eyes and motioned for them to step into the cart. Mindy leaned down to Piers and whispered loudly, "It's okay, Peter. We're just going to go for a very fast ride, you sit down tight and hold on, okay?" Piers nodded quickly and sat.

Harry suppressed a hysterical giggle. Saga elbowed him. It seemed like less than five minutes when they reached 331. Mindy stumbled out and gathered some gold into her clutch purse and climbed back in. When Saga and Harry had retrieved some money, the cart reversed and they all clung on for dear life. Piers clutched Mindy's arm and whimpered.

She patted his head like a loving older sister. "We'll be out soon."

:P

_Blurrrrrgchhh…._

"Ugh."

"Shut up. He hasn't ever been on a cart before." Mindy sat on a bench outside a shop as they waited for Piers to stop ralphing his intestines out. He finally coughed and sat down on the bench. Saga passed him a bottle of water, and they headed for Madame Malkin's.

Saga sighed thankfully when he pushed the dress into a rubbish bin. "Ah...finally. I was starting to get some appreciative looks. Ugh." Piers flapped his sleeves.

"Tell me again why I'm wearing a dress?"

:P

End Ch. 5


	7. Tell Me Again Why I'm Wearing A Dress?

Saga Brumsfellow and the Prison Cell 

_A Harry Potter fanfiction_

_By Silver and Suchan  
_

_:P _

Chapter 6. "Tell Me Again Why I'm Wearing A Dress?"

:P

"It's not a dress, Piers. It's robes. Remember? Wizards wear robes."

"Oh, oh, right. Sure." But when they headed for the leaky Cauldron, he could be heard muttering, "Look like a fing pansy, stupid dress, _'it's robes'_, load of crud if I ever heard it…"

Tom the innkeeper greeted them, "Hullo, welcome to the Leaky Cauldron. Four for lunch?"

"Yes, please," said Mindy, now more comfortable in her wizard's robes than the skanky purple dress. She turned to Piers. "Stop muttering. You're making everyone nervous."

He glared. He flapped his sleeves. He started muttering again.

Suddenly, they heard a loud despairing cry from right next to them. "Oh, _GODS, _I'll never see her _ever again…_" And Harry was off like a water spigot.

The response was mechanical. "Shut up, Harry."

Tom, however, gave him a sympathetic glance. "Lost his bonnie lass, has he?"

"He's been separated from her since last year…" Saga eyed Harry, sobbing helplessly into a menu on a chair. "But he's never said her name…no idea who…" He cut off, shrugging. "Well. What's for lunch?"

They were seated, and Harry slowed his performance to a quiet snivelling. They picked up their menus and Mindy began speaking in a hushed voice.

"Now, where are we going tomorrow? To find Harry's girl, am I right?"

"Yes!" said Harry and was shushed immediately.

"So. Where are we going to start looking?"

"She lives in Adamsfield."

Three pairs of disbelieving eyes stared at him. "But that—that's…"

"That's where all the rich people live. There's all sorts of manors and estates…"

"Yeah." Harry looked particularly smug at all this. "She's beautiful, too."

Mindy, Saga and Piers exchanged looks and went back to their menus.

"What?" Harry looked around. "What?!"

"Nothing, Harry. Shut the hell up and figure out what you want to eat." Harry picked up his menu silently and stared at the daily soup special.

:P

The day started out gloriously. Straight after breakfast, they meandered the streets, taking the morning off before their search for Harry's lost love. A large fountain stood in the centre of a plaza, the colour-changing water splashing down into an ornately sculpted pool.

A boy sat on the wall of the fountain, reading a large textbook. His shaggy dark hair, which was all that could be seen of his head since he was nearly face-down in the text, was tousled and a deathly pale hand was clutching at it in frustration. He suddenly came back up for air, or a drink which sat beside him and that was when Harry noticed him.

"OH MY GOD!" Harry shouted. An accusatory finger shot out. "You're …" He looked around shiftily. "Mouldy Wart," he whispered.

Mouldy Wart glared. "I am not. Why does everyone say that? My name's Theo. Theo Puzzle."

Saga stared at Harry's forehead, where a puzzle-piece shaped scar shone, reminder of his horrible past. He stared at Mould—sorry, Theo Puzzle, whose red eyes, dark hair, flat nose, and chalky complexion nearly screamed, "OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, STOP BEING STUPID! I AM LORD MOULDY WART!"

But he remained silent.

"Oh, okay," was all that Harry said. He plopped down beside Theo and stared at the book. "What're you reading?"

"It's complicated Arithmancy…"

"Oh."

Mindy walked over from her window-shopping and did a double take. She screamed. Theo rolled his eyes, and continued explaining to Harry what Arithmancy was. Piers was occupied with a talking cat in the corner of a pet store.

Robe billowing out around her, Mindy ran to the fountain in horror. "HARRY! WHAT THE EFFING HELL ARE YOU DOING?! DON'T YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS?!"

"Yes," replied Harry, "this is Theo Puzzle. He's studying Arithmancy to be an Auror." Theo nodded at her for emphasis. Smiled. She was very pretty.

"Oh. " She calmed down, slightly. "Well, we should really get going, if you want to find her by moonrise." Theo looked intrigued.

"Who're you finding?"

"Some girl Harry loves. He won't speak her name—"

"Because it is too blessed a sound…" Theo sweatdropped, and everyone else rolled their eyes. Harry continued with starry eyes. "My blessed…" At that moment, two screaming children ran past with their angry mother yelling after them.

Mindy shook her head. "Anyway. We'll get going, then."

"Can I come with you?" asked Theo, putting away his book. Mindy looked at him.

"Why?"

He was beginning to melt in her beautiful green gaze. "I need a break. I feel like my brain is leaking out of my ears."

"Gross," said Piers, who had narrowly escaped the claws of the angry cat. He hadn't meant to insult her…

Mindy huffed. "Well, alright. Come on. We'll have to take a car or something since Piers can't A…I mean, remember how to Apparate."

"Right."

:P

End Chapter 6.


	8. Adamsfield

Saga Brumsfellow and the Prison Cell

* * *

Chapter 7. "Adamsfield"

Theo, Mindy, Harry, Saga, and Piers carried on through wood and stream and hill and vale, on foot to reach Harry's lost love. Finally, after a day and a half of grumbling, tripping, escaping wild beasts and booby traps, they reached the front gates of Adamsfield. A low wall surrounded the entire area of estates and manors.

"Well, come on then!" said Harry cheerfully, climbing over the wall. A scream, and he scrambled back over. "Dogs!"

Theo looked at Mindy and Mindy at Theo. Piers rolled his eyes. Saga looked at the gates for some sort of intercom device. "Hello!" he shouted. "Anyone there?"

"Hup!" A young guard jumped down from his perch atop the gate and stood valiantly in front of the gates. "NONE MAY PASS!" he bellowed.

"Ah, there you are," said Harry confidently. "Yes, I'm here to see a Ms.—"

"NONE MAY PASS!"

"Well, you see, I really need to see her because—"

"NONE MAY PASS!"

"Okay, that's fine, but I haven't seen her in ages and—"

The guard glared at him. Harry hung his head. "I know, I know, none may pass. I get it."

The others looked at him, and Harry shrugged. The guard watched them, huddled in a circle and whispering. "Hey you! You there. What are you all doin' there, conspirin' and the suchlike?"

"Oh, can't you _please_ let us in?" Mindy pleaded, turning around.

"No. 'Mfraid not."

"Harry only wants to find his girlfriend. Could you just…" Mindy made convincing puppydog eyes at him, and finished, "escort us?" and the guard found himself stuttering, "Y-yeah, I guess-guess I could…uh…yeah."

Theo felt a slight wave of awe, watching her work her womanly charms on the sputtering guard.

He pressed a brick on the wall and the gates opened with a loud, blood-churning wail. "Come—er, come on then." The guard led them through the gate, and Harry yelped as one of the big German shepherds trotted over and sniffed his pants leg.

"Oh God," he squeaked. But the dog only gave a short bark and wagged its tail.

"Where does she live?" asked the guard as he shut the gate, and pressed a button to call for a car to take them.

"December Pond."

The guard stared at him with wide eyes, shook himself, and said, "There's the car, everyone in." They all climbed in and began the drive to December Pond.

Harry and the guard sat in the front seat next to the driver, who looked bored out of his skull. In the backseat sat Saga, Piers and Mindy with Theo looking out the window at the beautiful scenery, open fields, grazing goats and some thorny trees.

The car ride was a bit squashed, so Theo offered his lap to Mindy, who gratefully accepted. Theo wrapped his arms around her middle so she wouldn't fall, his heart beating like the hooves of a wild-eyed deer trying to escape from imminent danger.

Mindy smiled softly to herself, watching the geese landing gracefully on a pond.

The car made a sharp right turn, throwing Mindy and Theo into the window, and Saga and Piers into them. "Ouch!"

"Are you all right, Mindy?"

"Fine."

"One more mile," said the driver.

"Thank God," said Harry.

It was a long drive, and everyone was starting to get antsy…or sleepy. Theo's feet were falling asleep and Piers had fallen asleep on Saga's shoulder, snoring loudly. Mindy was about to fall asleep as well, but Harry was still wide awake, counting down the metres until they got to December Pond.

"Ninety-two, ninety-one, ninety! Eighty-nine, eighty-eight, eighty-seven, eighty-six—"

"Could you give it a rest, kid?!" the guard said irritably.

Harry glared at him and muttered, "Eighty-two, eighty-one, eighty, seventy-nine, seventy-eight…" Mindy leaned back and rested her head on Theo's shoulder, closing her eyes and falling asleep.

"Fifteen! Fourteen, thirteen, ten, nine, eight, sevensixfivefourthreetwoone! Let's go!" Harry jumped out of the car before it even stopped moving, despite shouts from the driver and guard, and it woke Piers and Theo, but Mindy still slept on.

Saga and Piers got out, and Theo tried to gently wake her, but when that failed, he picked her up and carried her to the front door, where Harry was already bouncing with excitement, ringing the doorbell at five-second intervals.

"Harry, give it a rest!" Piers shouted, "They've already heard it, you can quit!"

Harry, however, did not give it a rest, but kept consistently pushing it with each bounce on his toes.

Mindy's eyelids fluttered and she yawned. Theo looked down at her. She smiled. "Good morning…" Theo set her down on her feet and she grabbed his arm to keep from stumbling. She gave him an embarrassed smile.

The huge oak door opened, snatching everyone's attention. "Yessss? May I …_help_ you." The butler looked down his nose at Harry, who was covered in dirt, whose hair was matted with leaves, but who looked hopelessly happy.

"Can I see her?"

"See who—"

"Harry?"

"Pansy!"

"Pansy?!" said Mindy, Piers, Theo and Saga all at once. The butler stepped aside so Pansy could see him. Pansy stopped about a foot from Harry.

"Hold on, there, love. Why don't you get washed up, first?" She was tall and thin, but had mousy brown hair and a pug nose and mean, squinty eyes. She wore a pink dress and a pink bow in her hair. The butler showed him where the bathroom was, and turned to the open door.

"Oh, my. _More_…of you?"

Saga gave a little wave.

"Oh, those are my friends. I hope you don't mind. They helped me get here. God knows we've been through a lot, what with trying to escape that prison and make our way to Diagon Alley, and finally here, with the dogs trying to eat me," Harry babbled. The butler let them in and some other servants showed them to other washrooms where they could tidy up.

They all met at the dinner hall, freshly washed and wearing their robes of brilliant colours. Mindy's was a light purple, which brought out her eyes. Piers was in a taupe dress—er, robe, which really didn't do much for him, but well, it was clothes and clothes never did much for him anyway. Theo was wearing a dark bottle green that almost matched Harry's, which was lighter and made his eyes look bright. Saga was in a dark blue.

Well, no colour really worked for him. But it was robes, and not a skanky golden dress, so Saga was alright with that.

Pansy was in a Johnny-jump-up-print robe with a lavender background. "Welcome, everybody, to December Pond! Oh, and my father has company, so I welcome them, too." She motioned to the door, and who stepped through but Draco Malfoy, a sneer on his face as cold as the Alaskan tundra in the dead of a nuclear winter.

All Harry could say was, "Oh, shit."

End Chapter.


	9. Well, well, well

Saga Brumsfellow and the Prison Cell

Chapter 8.

* * *

Chapter 8: "Well, well, well…"

* * *

"You!" Harry shouted, flinging his finger at Malfoy. "What are YOU doing here?"

"Pansy's parents invited Mother and Father for dinner," Malfoy sneered. "I believe the question is, why are _you_ here?"

"I came here to find Pansy," Harry said, and he and Pansy smiled cutely at each other.

Piers made gagging noises.

"I thought they locked you up for good in that prison."

Harry petted Pansy's hand. "Nope. Saga broke us out." Saga took a bow. Malfoy silently steamed. He stood there for a second, then stormed out of the room.

Pansy frowned. "Prison?" Harry looked alarmed.

"Er, yes. St. Brutus' Centre for Incurably Criminal Boys."

Her eyes widened a little more. Piers, Mindy, Saga and Theo backed up slightly. "Why?!"

"Well, you see, it's a long, long story." Yes. Harry was definitely stalling. They backed up to the wall and started to edge for the door. The butler held his silver tray in front of his chest defensively.

"We've got all the time in the world, _darling._"

Harry laughed. "Maybe I do! But you don't!" Light from the beautiful chandelier caught the blade and sparkled along its length as it was swung in an arc and slashed across Pansy's throat. With a sharp gasping noise, she collapsed, and Harry stepped back.

"Muahahaha!" Harry cried.

"Oh, _Jesus,_" Theo whispered, and herded the others out the door along with the butler.

"But I won't stop _there,_ no I won't!" Harry was twirling around the glossy hardwood floor, dancing with the bloody knife. "NOOOO. I will avenge all my wrongs and slaughter those who have done me wrong, including, but not limited to, Malfoy and Mouldy Wart! And not to mention my cousin's family the Dumberses, Vermont, Hibiscus, and Dimples!" After another twirl and maniacal laugh, Harry escaped through the other door, seeking Malfoy's family.

"Oh noes!" said Piers. "Should we report him?"

Mindy furrowed her brows. "The ministry would never get here in time. We've got to finish him ourselves."

"Alright. You have a go at him, then," Saga said cheerfully and started for the door.

"Oh, no, baldy, ain't nobody leaving now. We have to take him down together," Theo said. "Besides, if you start to leave and he catches you, you'll quite regret being dead."

Piers nodded. "He's mentally unstable. He could turn on you at any minute. I hope he doesn't catch Dimples Dumbers. He still owes me a cut of that one kid's lunch money."

Saga sighed and gave in. He turned to the butler. "That means you've got to help, too."

But the butler had fainted dead away at the sight of the blood creeping in from the door. They all peeked in the door and noticed a small flood coming from several doors.

"Jesus _Christ,_" Theo said, pushing Mindy behind him.

"Guess whooooo?" said a crazy-sounding voice behind them. They all turned. Piers screamed. Harry was hanging upside-down from the upstairs railing, waving knives and spatulas at them.

The butler, just starting to revive, fainted again at the sight of the spatula-wielding Harry. He was deathly afraid of spatulas. …it was a long story.

"Avada Kedavra!" Mindy bellowed in some furious, inhuman voice. But it merely hit a spatula and made it crumble away into cinders.

Harry was shocked, and everyone stared for a minute. "Uhh…uhhhh…" He began to sob. "Morty!" He sobbed harder. "YOU KILLED MORTY!"

"Oh, for God's sake," Saga began, "it's just a spatu—"

Harry glared at him and swung a knife around to face him. "MORTY. WAS. MY. BEST. FRIEND!!"

Saga yelped as Harry swung toward him. "Petrificus totalus!" Theo shouted. Harry crumpled to the floor. He glared and made muffled angry sounds, but it didn't do him any good. Mindy and Saga helped Theo pick up Harry and bind him up with duct tape.

"How long is that spell going to hold?"

"I think another hour. But I can't say for sure. With him in this crazed state, his mental and psychic forms are completely unstable," Theo muttered. "There's no telling how he'd react to the spells."

Piers put the butler on the stairs and bounded out after them. He stopped suddenly, and picked up a bit of wood on the floor. "I wonder if this is any important. Harry was swinging it around."

Mindy stared wide-eyed at him. "DON'T YOU POINT THAT THING AT ME! PUT IT DOWN, PIERS! DROP IT!"

"Drop it like it's hot!" the butler said deliriously. Theo snorted, but continued trying to stuff Harry in the trunk of the car.

As the wand hit the floor, it left a small explosion/burn mark on the floor. Saga ran and put it in his pocket. "Piers, please don't ever do that again. There's no telling what happens when a Muggle messes with a wand."

Piers nodded sadly and watched dejectedly as they all piled in the car. "Can't see why I have to be a stupid Miggle, or whatever they call it," he muttered, kicking rocks and grass on his way back to the car.

"W—wait!" came a voice. "I'm coming too!" There was Malfoy, running down the drive with blood spattered across his face and staining his white-blonde hair. "I'm not staying in that house! I can't! The butler's dancing around thinking he's Avril Lavigne!"

Everyone stopped a moment, then shuddered. "Get in, kid. We can't just leave you there. That's just cruel."

"No crap."

Muffled screams came from the trunk, but the occupants were still too disturbed from the image of the dancing butler to notice.

"You realise we'll have to contact Rumbelcore."

"Ngk." Theo just wrapped his arms more tightly around Mindy, grateful Harry hadn't decided to go throwing knives at her. Mindy smiled at him.

Piers made some more gagging noises. Malfoy slapped him and the driver shouted at them. It was an even longer ride down.

* * *

End Chapter 8. 


End file.
